Granny's Advice

Dear grandma, Rights of grandparents are different in different provinces, and countries; you'd have to seek legal advice to know the situation where you live. But surely you don't want to put your relationship with your grandson into the hands of lawyers!

I can't imagine why your daughter in law is so upset about letting your son visit his grandparents alone, but I suppose she has her reasons, so don't upset her. They are in her hands and she is responsible for them all. If she feels they should stick toge ther, even when they are visiting you, then so be it. Take them all and make them welcome in your home, whether they are his, hers, or theirs.

When your son married his current wife, he apparently took on her children, added the son he had with his previous wife, and then they had another child together to complete the family. They are a unit. Recognize them as such - and please know that this i s not a unique situationl You mention that it would take pages to describe your problem and I'm sure it would - maybe even volumes - but the story would be similar to many others these days.

We can't expect people to live together, as we did, 'til death do us part. Family life today has changed so much it's hardly recognizable. Fighting against the changes is frustrating and can be destructive. Your son is trying to establish a family in his fashion, and it will only be successful if you give him your fullest cooperation.

When the kids are all older, that child you favour might visit you on his own, but that would be for him to decide. Meanwhile, don't try to divide your son's children into categories. Love them all as you love him.

That's my best suggestion. I'm sure you have the strength to make it work. Yours sincerely, GG