Granny's Advice

Is there anything that really bugs you about how teenagers treat seniors, or is there something that you really like about how teenagers treat seniors that adults do not do? I am just looking for some insight into this type of thing. If you are able to help, please e-mail me back at tcftoronto@msn.com. Thank you for your time from the bottom of my heart!!!

Student

Dear Student,

It's hard to straighten out stereotypes of senior citizens for a group of teen agers when we ourselves suffer the same problem with stereotypes of your age group. In fact, as I contemplate your assignment, I feel it would be easier for me to try to set straight some of the latter.

However, that's not what you want here. You want to know what bugs me about how you treat us. Well, Erin, nothing bugs me about your behaviour because, having been in your shoes, I can easily understand what you do and say. The same can't be said from your perspective. You have never been in our shoes and will have to live through a lot of happiness and sadness, excitement and boredom, achievement and disillusionment, before you can see things as we do.

As a general rule I find that young adults, as you are, are able to enjoy us for what we are and what we do, but have little patience when we embark on lengthy reminiscences. For this reason, I reserve my chatting about past events for people who were there and can see the humour in comparisons with today. We are always more comfortable with people who have been there, done that, and, as the saying goes, bought the T shirt.

Trying to think of what difference there would be between our interaction with teens and with older adults I'm only able to suggest that it's easier to relax with the younger ones. Some "adults" place more importance on appearance, manner of speech, possessions, and material things than the current crop of teens does - or that is the way it seems to me. In my own family this does not hold true - we are all a clan of free thinkers - but in the case of many people, I can feel more comfortable with the younger generation.

I'm speaking from a very personal point of view here. I do know that many of my peers, older people, cannot relate at all with the youngsters around them and in fact continually complain about how terrible they all are. That is stereotyping of the worst sort and is more harmful generally than any "old fogey" type stereotyping of which you might be guilty.

You might think that just because we can't hear or see as well as we used to, or get around without canes or walkers, or wheelchairs, that we are also stupid and are "losing it" - but that's OK - it doesn't hurt us at all because, as I mentioned at the outset, we were once young like you and we are not surprised at your attitude.

The lovely surprises are when some young people come into our lives with bright new ideas, happy faces, and genuinely enjoy our company. These are the people we love to help in any way we can; these are the ones who recognize the value of having old people among their friends.

No, my dear, nothing bugs me. Even when they ignore us and totally discount our usefulness - we understand. That's part of being old - understanding.

Thanks for asking.

Yours sincerely, GG