Granny's Advice

Can you give me some advice on how to handle this problem. I feel that their mother has quite a lot on her plate at this time. I would like to help, but I want to handle this without having to upset her. I realize this has been an ongoing problem that iI will be discussing with her when her schooling is over. Can you help us.

Signed Getting Desperate

Dear Getting Desperate,

Do not try to raise your friend's children. Whatever you could possibly do in four weeks will be undone when they go back with their parents, with one small possible exception. It is just possible that if you and your own children and your own friends can show an example of friendly conversation, with nobody interrupting anyone else, and everyone listening to eachother, that those two girls might notice how pleasant it is. Their parents might not be setting this same example.

But whatever you do to try to help your friend in improving the way her children behave will undoubtedly upset her. No matter how difficult they are, she will not realize that their unruly behaviour is related to her own handling of their upbringing. If you are determined to interfere in the situation, and to help her to bring up her children, I hope you will start by talking it all over with her alone some day, offering some suggestions, but not taking a role in the process of correcting her girls. You still might lose a friend; that's a chance you will have to take.

Remember that your own experience with children is limited to babies and when your own children are older, you might be surprised at what problems arise. Also consider how you would feel if your friend discovered that some of the things your own children are doing does not meet her standards. Would you appreciate having her try to change them?

I urge you to do what you can to make those girls have a happy experience in your home and leave their character development to their own parents.

Yours sincerely, GG