My goodness, you are really in a bad way aren't you. But your son is doing just fine; he's got guts, and is learning how to use them. Somebody warned you about the so-called "terrible twos". I remember when that phrase was invented, and the lady who first
used it went to school with me way back in the thirties. She used it as the name for one in a series of documentary films about raising children. The second in the series was called "The Terrible Twos and the Trusting Threes".
So, if you are going to be influenced by slogans, just be patient and next year your son will be so gentle and trusting, you will be glad you didn't give up on him at two.
Seriously though, I do know how difficult they can be when they have learned to walk and talk and discover that what they say and do can change their whole environment. You want him to grow up knowing that, don't you. You want your son to make a differenc
e in this world; to influence people around him.
Well, he's just learning how to do those things. Perhaps what he wants to do isn't exactly what you would like him to be doing, but please, before you spank him, or put him in the corner, or shout "no" at him, think out the whole situation. Is it really e
ssential to his health that he should not do whatever it is he is doing that bothers you?
Are you trying to fit his behaviour into some predetermined pattern that you have dreamed up? Do you expect him to be a little figment of your imagination? Would letting him express himself in his own way really be so terrible? Is it possible that he is
"acting up" just to get your attention? Is spanking him the best way you have of showing him you care about him? How about a big hug - and a bit of laughing with him about his antics? If he's making a terrible mess, you could turn the cleaning up of the
mess into some sort of a game. Laugh with him - don't scold. We all make messes - it's part of life.
Do you say "Yes" every time he does something right, or is "No" the only word he hears from you these days? You don't have to lose your mind; just expand it to think on his level. Put yourself in his shoes. He wants to assert himself. Let him. If you thw
art him in all his wishes he might give up altogether and never become the forecful, useful citizen you really want to raise.
Suffer through this period in his life, and learn from it. I promise you that the twos are NOT the only terrible years. Wait 'til he's fourteen! Three years ago, when you decided to have this baby, did you think he would not have a mind of his own?
Possibly you are embarrassed when he "acts up" in front of your friends, or strangers. Well, don't even think about those other people. The most important relationship at this moment is between you and your son. Cherish it.
Yours truly,
GG
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