My wife and I keep our two grandchildren while their mothers work.
Their ages are two and a half and three and a half years old. We have lots
of toys for them to play with. However, no matter what toy either one has,
the other one wants it. If one gets a toy that another one puts down, then
he wants it back. My wife says the one who has it gets to keep it until the
other one puts it down. It has been a sore spot for me because I have
forgotten how it should be handled.
Some of the toys were purchased by the child's mother and put in the
toy boxes with all the others. Should they be treated as community property,
or should they be allowed to "own them", and not let the other one play with
them?
We try to teach them love for each other, and to share, but it would
help matters if my wife and I could agree on what is right and wrong.
Thanks.
Nobody can tell you what is right and wrong. That's for you to decide. But whatever you decide will not necessarily guide those two little grandchildren. Since they are being looked after together, they will adopt the same feelings towards eachother that
siblings do. In effect, they ARE siblings while they are in your care.
Like all siblings, those two little cousins will fight and bicker over who is going to play with which toy and eventually they will grow past that and learn to play together. To encourage this, you might try to find time to sit down with them and play wit
h them, showing them how each can pick up and put down certain toys and not get upset about it. You can tell them that the toys are there for them both to share and show them what you mean by that.
As long as the whole problem is left to you, grandparents, and the mothers don't get involved, and as long as the mothers aren't upset when the toys they have provided are being used by the other child, you are fortunate. Try not to discuss the problem w
ith your daughters; just get it sorted out by yourselves. That way it won't escalate into a family feud.
Looking after the grandchildren is such a kind act on your part. I just hope that this little nonsense about who's going to play with which toy will not spoil your enjoyment of the children. As long as they are not hitting eachother, or otherwise getting
hurt, I think you have to let the squabbles play themselves out for the most part. If it gets totally beyond your patience to endure, remove all the toys and tell them they will have to do without them until they can share with eachother.
Good luck. It's not an easy task. I hope your daughters appreciate what you are doing.
Truly yours,
Great Granny
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