Two year olds are indeed challenging and also fascinating, as are three year olds, four year olda, and 40 year olds!
To get serious though, I really don't think the spacing of children has anything to do with sibling rivalry. It exists regardless of age, sex, or spacing. It can be expressed differently and needn't be a problem as long as everyone knows it's there. Kids
are jealous of eachouther. You can handle that - when it happens, just cope with it. There are books which discuss at length the significance of being the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child in a family, and I've found them to be dead on - the authors
have well researched the subject. But trying to organize a family so that all your children will be oldest, youngest or whatever is of course impossible.
You just have to take what comes. If I were you, with a nine month old baby I'd not hesitate to get pregnant any time now. If your friends have scared you off having a two year old, well, how can you avoid it.\? Having another baby in the house isn't goin
g to change the challenge of the two year old; it might even help.
Space your children to suit your health, or your finances! When we were young there was not as much opportunity to plan our parenting - we had no such thing as birth control pills and comdoms had to be bought secretly by mail order in plain brown envelop
es; no such conveniences in the corner drug store. We jut got married and the babies came.
When they were young, living in our happy peaceful home full of live, they fought like cats and dogs (or should I say normal sisters and brothers) and now as adults they are all the best of friends, caring a great deal for eachother - expressing it daily
in many real ways.
Each time I brought a new baby home I would lay it in the lap of the next youngest child and say "here is your baby brother" - then I always involved all the children in the care of the new baby so it wasn't just my baby, it was everyone's. I think that
helped a bit to allay any instant jealousy. I also kept the new baby in a tiny crib right in the midst of the family - living room, kitchen - wherever life was going on, so time spent with the newborn didn't exclude anyone else.
Well my dear, I'm not sure I've been much help about spacing - but really it isn't important. Having four little ones all close together is not all that much of an ordeal - depending on your health. The kids will have more fun together if they are close t
o the same age. I guess that would encourage me to have them two years apart, or less.
I hope this little discussion has helped.
Yours sincerely,
GG
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