OK here goes! I know you probably hear from all kinds of people, and their problems probably outweigh mine but I have nowhere else to go and I just am asking for some help.
A little back ground before we start so maybe you will get the whole picture! I'm 15 and I have gone to a private school until the 8 grade and the 9 and 10 grades I went to a small pubic school. Well I have a very over protective mother
who never had allowed me much freedom. I was raised with an abusive step dad and now they are divorced; and if
this matters any my mom got pregnant with me out of marriage and when she was in college and I never really have known my dad b/c he didn't want to have much to do with us after she got pregnant.
Now my problem.
I was asked out by a senior in high school we went out for about 2 1/2 weeks and I was completely in love with him and I gave him my virginity. Well he always said he loved me and he even stayed with me after it happened until my mom found out and she said he couldn't come see me or call or nothing. Well after a week and a half of not getting to see each other besides school or sometimes at ball games, he wrote me a letter and broke up with me saying he still loved me and if it got better between him and my mom we could be back together but I know what that means we're over and I love him!
He says he doesn't know why but he just couldn't handle it! Everyone at school doesn't understand because they all grew up with him and he is a good sweet person and all his life he has always said he wanted a person like me and that they haven't never seen him this happy and he talked so good about me and how much he said he loved me and
even his best friend said that he thought he really loved me.
Well now I'm all by my self getting to hear every day from my mom how much I messed up and how dumb it was, but I still love him and I'm hurt and she's not helping and even when she goes to ball games with me (because I'm a cheerleader) she will tell him if he says hi to stay away form her and stuff!!
I 'm just hurt and confused and have no one to talk to so any advice you can give please I'm here!
Plus I'm really sick right now so I'm not going anywhere!
I hope you get better soon and by then will have cooled down about your mother. She is only trying to help you avoid the sort of trouble she had when she was young. As an unwed mother, and then with a failed marriage, she has been through a lot and I hope you can try to understand things from her point of view. She is afraid that you appear to be falling into the same problems she experienced and it is only natural that she will do anything to keep you "safe".
Your frustrated boyfriend may not deserve to be mistrusted, but then you can't blame your mother for feeling as she does. I expect that he is a lovely person and when this is all over you and he might get back together again, but for now I think your best bet is to stay apart, except for meeting at school and ball games once in a while. Why don't you get together with several other friends and plan outings - yes, old fashioned picnics, pick-up games in the park, excursions and hikes etc.. - so you can be together without it being a "date".
Tell your mother, honestly, that although you have decided to comply with her wishes and stop dating him, you still don't intend to cut him out of your life entirely. If you can co-operate with her in this way she may eventually stop
suspecting him of being bad for you, but this will take an honest effort on your part.
Possibly, while you are not dating him, he may take up with another girl. Don't let this throw you into a tizzy. You are
very young. In your lifetime you may fall in love a dozen times and each person you meet will seem to be THE ONE!. Also you will become a better person every year and everything you learn from your wonderful boyfriend today will add to your character. Just take things easy right now. Don't allow the ill feelings between your mother and your boyfriend to eat into you and turn into a major cause of stress. You need to keep your strength and your health and do your very best at school, no matter what else happens.
Happiness and usefulness during the long life you have ahead of you depends on how you are able to handle this situation today.
Your best friend in this whole world is your mother.
Think about it.
Truly yours,
GG
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