Before you marry your "future wife" you should come to some serious agreement about whether she does or does not want you to rearrange her whole family. You are not only taking on her sons but also their father's family, her parents and all her siblings.
Think it over carefully. Do they all really want someone to tell those little boys what to do? Consider why these children might want to sleep together. My advice is to let them alone but either way it is rightfully their decision, not yours.
Why are you planning to marry their mother? Is she looking for someone to interfere with her children's very private lives? I don't think so.
Let the kids live their own lives. I expect they need security. You can provide it other ways than imposing your ideas on them. One way would to be supportive and get off their case about such things as bunk beds.
You should discuss raising children, how you were raised, how she was raised, what each of you deems to be important regarding behaviour, school, church, sports, toys, TV, computers, playmates, and a thousand other things. Find out right now how many ways you and their mother will differ, before you have caused a second upheaval in their young lives.
Sincerely,
GG
Return to Granny's Query index