I'm 50 years old and still have issues with my 73 year old mother. She has caused me much emotional pain most of my life. Recently, I confided in her about a problem my 21 year old son was having. (That was very stupid of me,
but I guess I believed that I could trust her -- I guess I'm a slow learner). I just found out that she repeated what I told her to my sister-in-law. My mother started the conversation with SIL by saying, "I have a juicy piece of gossip to tell you..." SIL then called me to tell me what mom did.
My mom is not well and I want to know if I should confront her with this last item, as well as all the other mean and hurtful things she has done to us, her children. Or, is it better for me to swallow this hurt, too.
I love my Mother, and I believe she loves me, but her love has always had quite a sting to it. I must say that my mom is not the run of the mill type of mother. She has always had emotional/mental problems; probably bi-polar and
histrionic.
What do you think?
Thanks!
If you love them don't confront them. Just don't share any more sensitive family secrets with them.
I imagine they have tried their best to be good parents even if they have seemed to fail from time to time. Children don't come with instruction manuals and often what we think is right turns out to be wrong in a specific case. No two children are alike so we don't even have general rules to follow.
Your best value from them will be derived if you can manage not to make the mistakes they did, in dealing with your own children. This will guarantee nothing, but it's still a good plan.
Do whatever you can to maintain calm between you and your parents, both real and perceived calm.
Truly yours,
GG
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