Please help! I am at my wits end. I have a lovely 6 year old daughter who is VERY bright, musically talented, funny,
warm and loving. She is also stubborn, tends to whine and gets her feelings hurt very easily and has a big temper.
She also has a voice that really carries. This is great for singing but not in the class room. She is having a really
hard time socially in school because she gets so frustrated with the other kids and they have learned how to make her lose that temper or cry then she gets in trouble.
Last year she had a Wonderful teacher who understood her and knew how to work with her this year she isn't so lucky (we only have one first grade teacher to choose from) this woman actually told her that she made it very hard to like her and she seems to blame and punish my daughter for everything.
She even told me she knows the other kids know how to push her buttons but those kids never get punished instead my daughter gets sent out in the hall to calm down . She says she needs to learn to deal with them.
Am I being overprotective? I know my daughter has her faults and needs to learn how to deal with other kids (I could use your advice on that also) but it just seems so one sided with her teacher. Because of this my daughter is being
isolated from the other kids and it's breaking her heart. She feels no one likes her and she has no friends.
I have an appointment with her teacher on Oct. 2 and I want to have ideas of how to solve this problem. This teacher
even dumped my daughters desk out in front of the rest of the class because she felt she was too disorganized! My little girl cried all night about this.
This school only has one teacher per grade and this teacher has been here for years. (she didn't get along with my other daughter either) I would try to help her just get through this year but she is so sensitive and I am afraid that this will set the tone for her future with the other kids. How can I help her learn to fit in? She wants to be liked but doesn't have enough control to keep from losing her temper and from being bossy because as my mom said when she first saw her "she's an old soul in a new body) I am told with kids like her they are very often sensitive and challenging and
have trouble socializing with other kids. Is this true, if so how can I help her?
Thanks for listening and for any advice you can give me. Please reply as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Carealotmom
Everyone's child is bright, talented, funny, warm and loving, and many are also stubborn, whiney, get their feelings hurt easily and have big tempers. The trick is to persuade her that co-operation is essential to her happiness and everyone else's if she wants to go to school. The alternative is to teach her how to read and write at home and skip school altogether.
The following exerpt from your letter, about your child's teacher, is the most interesting:
" . . . this teacher has been here for years. (she didn't get along with my other daughter
either)
I would try to help her just get through this year but she is so sensitive."
Recognizing the sensitivity and needs of the teacher is paramount in trying to solve any school-connected problem. In
trying to help her get through this year, you may also be helping her carry on in her difficult career. Dealing with your
daughter is just one of the many challenges she faces; anything you can do to persuade your daughter to minimize her own tantrums will be helpful.
It would also help if you could invite the teacher to meet your family in your home or meet with her socially, so your child would see her as a human being with sensitivities. When my children were young I told them often that the teacher's job should be made as pleasant and fulfilling as possible.
You seem to think the teacher is isolating your child but actually the child is doing it to herself. To be "in the group"
she will have to watch the others and try to act in accordance with their accepted behaviour. If she would prefer to be
different, she will have to compensate some way. This is an exercise for later years, if she feels like being her own self instead of just like everyone else. But for now, unless she is happy to be treated differently, she will just have to conform.
That's the way things work in school, and it has nothing to do with how long the teacher has been at her job. It's a matter of making friends and getting along amicably with one's peers. If your child is brighter than the others and bored with their level of learning, perhaps you should send her to a different kind of school or try home schooling so conforming wouldn't be a problem.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
GG
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