My sister recently graduated from college and is taking a year off before going to law school. My parents have supported her and provided monthly expenses exceeding what is needed for basic living. She is going on a different trip every other weekend and sometimes more and shops constantly. She has never had a job.
I am married and work for my parents and my husband is a good provider. We are trying to save enough money to buy a home and business.
My parents are in the process of selling their business and semi-retiring. They will be able to live comfortably on the interest on the money they will receive from the sale. That is, if they just provide tuition and rent for my sister and not the extra $700 or so she goes through each month. My problem is this, I want to bring up the subject of limiting her monthly allowance to a more conservative amount. My mom talks about jealousy and I just don't think that's my problem. I just think there is no reason for a 22 year old to blow that kind of money at the expense of my parents long-term financial situation.
What should I do?
Concentrate on your own affairs and leave your sister's alone.
If you are afraid she is squandering what could eventually be your inheritance, forget it. You have stated that your husband provides for you, and apparently you also have a job. As for your parents, they are adults and have earned their own money and can do with it as they please. It's not your responsibility to tell them what to do. If they sell the business perhaps you'll need to change your job, but that isn't an issue here.
Your main problem seems to be that your sister is able to travel around and buy things that probably you couldn't afford when you were her age.
There may be other differences between you two sisters as well, but it is futile to expect things to be the same for two
different people, even sisters.
No two people are equal. Changing times change the ways we manage our affairs and if your parents now wish to indulge your sister it is their prerogative and has absolutely nothing to do with you.
You will find times in your life when you would not trade places with your sister for anything, no matter what she spends on things you can't afford. She has had her problems and there will be many more. There will be times when she envies you, though she may never mention it. If it bothers you to see her spend money given to her by your parents, try not to know about it; certainly NEVER discuss it with anyone.
Perhaps you think your parents aren't very bright and are being duped by your sister, but I don't think so. I believe they know exactly what they are doing and have their own reasons. They derive pleasure out of seeing her enjoy what they can give her.
Try to develop a better relationship with your sister. Get back to the happy friendship you had as youngsters. Meet her for lunch. Talk about old times and laugh with her, tell her some of the amusing things in your life, and most of all, ask her about her travels, her friends, her studies and her hopes and fears.
Be a good listener. Be a good sister. Support your parents in whatever they choose to do, and forget about their money.
Truly yours,
GG
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