Being gay is not a "brand of behavior" it is a sexual orientation. The situation is not a thing for people to "believe
in" or not, it simply exists. I can't agree with your understanding of being gay, but since you've asked me the
question, my answer is that you would be doing your parents, and yourself, a favour if you would tell them right now.
Walk into the room where they are together. Sit down and say "Mom, Dad, I want you to know that I am gay?"
I suspect they already know but have chosen not to discuss it with you. Perhaps they think you'll change and want to ignore your actual situation meanwhile.
Since you haven't discussed it with them yet, you probably think they will object, but maybe they will take your information in an adult and sensible way. Give them a chance.
If they are the sort of people who can't accept homosexuality you'll have a problem on your hands but if you have some friends outside the family to talk it over with the task at home will be easier.
But don't alienate yourself from your parents and siblings, if you have any. Your family is still YOUR family and you are still a part of it no matter how they may feel about your own personal orientation. Be yourself and let them be themselves and do everything you can to live together lovingly, as a family should.
Make sure your parents don't get the impression that gay folks are weird in any way. Let them know that you are a good student, a friendly person, neat, careful and courteous. Sometimes when young people want to express differences they go overboard and make life difficult for everyone around them. You can be different from some of your friends and family without becoming unruly.
In the same was as "straight" people don't have to express their sexuality all the time, you can do the same. Just be your own decent self to reassure your parents that you're not going to embarrass them. Remember that they are not gay and that they may not ever really understand that you are as normal as they are, just normal with a different definition.
Many straight people have come around to realizing that this world is full of gay men and women, many more than are
recognized as such. As time goes on there will eventually be no distinction, maybe in your lifetime.
In the meantime though, you owe it to your parents to help them understand that you are a nice boy, and are fast becoming a fine young man, able to contribute to society fully as well as any other young man.
Do your best at school; learn a profession or a trade, and concentrate on achieving your best. If your parents can't accept who you are, don't desert them. Keep right on loving them and disturb them as little as possible. But DO tell them.
Don't expect them to respond. Don't expect anything. Just tell them and move on to another topic. If they panic, don't join in. Answer their questions calmly.
I hope they take it all without alarm. You might be surprised because you seem to be a sensible person and therefore I suspect they are too.
Yours sincerely,
GG
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