If you can't afford to provide these things for your parents, then just stop offering. If it's true that they never pick up
the tab at restaurants, and expect you to help them with the luxuries they enjoy, just don't put yourselves into a position to pay.
When you want their company, ask them over for dinner at your house and play cards or get a good video, but don't go out with them, especially to casinos. And if they ask you for money, keep a special fund for them and when it's spent, tell them you've spent up to your budget this month.
If you CAN afford to help them in the way you have been doing, then just feel fortunate that you are able to do that. In some families it is the parents who help out the children. In other families it is the children who help out the parents. Either way it is to be expected in functional families that the members do what they can for each other, graciously.
Considering what parents do for their children, and no doubt your in laws did for their son, I hope it is a joy and a great
satisfaction that he will do whatever he can for them at this point.
If it's really breaking your bank, then set yourself limits and consider it a regular expense in your budget, but don't let it go beyond what is reasonable.
If the whole idea of spending your money on them is disturbing you, I think you need to rethink your whole notion of family. Good ones care for each other's happiness. If their happiness depends on you, make up your mind if it's worth it.
Now that you've written down your grievance, perhaps it will not seem so bad. Your own peace of mind is important, so try to come to terms with the fact that these people are family and that one of these days you could be somebody's mother in law.
Yours sincerely,
GG
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