My problem is my best friend since 5th grade has recently, very quickly lost about 35 pounds.She did this by diet and walking every day. I told her how great she looks (repeatedly) and what a good job she's doing. The problem is ALL she talks about anymore is how all the guy's at work keep complimenting her (she is married and yes, her husband apparently keeps telling her how great she looks too). Every time I talk to her she has to tell me about her weight loss and how good she looks. Now I am at the point of being annoyed. I also just lost 26lbs, but I barely mention it.
She was not as heavy as me to begin with,so she is much closer to her goal weight. Many times in the past I have lost weight but I have never obsessed over myself like she is. She told me one of the girls at work is not being very nice to her and it must be because she is jealous. I don't want to tell her that her constant talk about her weight ect. is getting
on my nerves or she'll be saying I must be jealous also. (which I honestly am not). What can I do?
By the way, we are both in our mid forties, not hardly little kids ! Thank you so much for your advice.
I would be too.
People who are so full of themselves that they can't see beyond their own egos are truly tiresome, and don't make good friends. Since you've known this lady since 5th grade, surely you must have known that she is only interested in herself. I guess it never became as obvious as it is now, since she's lost weight and feels so beautiful for the first time in her life.
Finally, after all these years, being happy with what she sees in the mirror has obviously gone to her head and unless everyone is congratulating her, or celebrating with her, she feels she's not being adequately recompensed for her efforts.
There are ways you can cure her of this constant self-congratulation. Every time she mentions weight, hers, yours, or any one else's, just look the other way and change the subject. Don't ever bring up the matter yourself, never. Even if
you manage to take off five pounds in a week, don't even mention it. And never talk about anyone's appearance. Just leave that whole topic out of your life. If someone congratulates you, just say "thank you" and change the subject.
When your friend goes on and on about how people are reacting to her new figure, pretend you don't hear. Either walk away or change the subject as if you hadn't heard. If she ever complains about your lack of interest in her new-found slimness, tell her right out that it is really getting to be boring because it's not news any more. Tell her you are far more interested in some music you've heard, or some child's accomplishments at school, or sports, or politics, or whatever. Even a new knitting pattern or recipe would be more interesting to discuss that her weight, or lack of same.
She might catch on without your needing to spell it out to her, but if necessary, do so. You'll be doing her a favour because I'm sure if her obsession is driving you nuts, it's also losing friends for her all over the place.
Tell her that there are lots of things about her that you really love and would rather explore. Try to urge her to take up some other interest that is more general than just losing weight. Having achieved that, she should just carry on with the diet and regimen she has found useful and get on with other interesting parts of her life.
It will be hard to cut that entire discussion right out of your conversation, but it CAN be done. I hope you can manage this without losing a friend, but if that happens, maybe you'll be better off without her - at least until she can return to you without the obsession.
Truly yours,
GG
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