Your question is about daughters, presumably several, who have apparently abandoned you, but you only describe one, whom you suspect of being involved in drugs. What happened to the others? Whatever they are all doing obviously brings you a great deal of grief.
You suggest that you had some training as parents. Any training for that responsibility that you were lucky enough to obtain was more that most people got. When I was young there was no such thing as such training. Parenthood just happened to us and we did our best with love, and intuition.
None of us can be experts, no matter how many children we have; we just do our best and then hope they will all grow up to be useful citizens and fulfill their potential. In your case it seems that one of your daughters is living in such a way that she doesn't want to include her parents any more. Perhaps that's for the best. Hopefully, when she finally moves ahead into a better life style she will be happy for a good relationship with her parents but for now your best bet is to leave her alone.
If you think she is suffering in some way and does need your help, you must make it clear to her that you are not judging her, or even criticizing her, and that you do love her and will be there for her if ever she needs you for any reason. All this might be hard to express in words to her face, or even over the phone, but you could write it in a letter, or even in email. Just to make it clear to her that whatever problems life throws at her, she is not alone. Her parents are always with her in spirit and will welcome her with open arms whenever she is willing to come to them.
Knowing that, and if you are sincere and make sure she knows you are, she might work her way through her current problems with less difficulty.
There is always a possibility that her involvement with drugs, if your supposition is right, might be occurring because of other people who are stronger than she is. Knowing you will always love her and can be depended on to stand by her at a moment of need, could help her break loose from whatever or whomever is causing her to fall into bad habits.
On the other hand, you could be wrong about the drugs. She may simply be living a complicated life that doesn't allow time for her parents. These are her own choices and could change with time. Let things run their course. Don't force yourselves upon her. Find other interests in your community and let time cure the rift. Patience under such circumstances will not be easy, but then, we all know that nothing about raising children is easy and it does sometimes seem never to end..
We could all just dercide not to have any at all. Think of the grief we would avoid! But then, what would happen to the human race?
Yours sincerely,
GG
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