You might like to read a previous letter I wrote about what to call grandparents. It refers to a specific case, but the
principle is the same.
Probably your new grandchild will call you whatever he or she is able to pronounce when he first discovers you. You might ask your children to tell the baby that you are "Granny" and the baby's first aknowledgement of that will come out as "Nanny", "Anny", or "Gaggy". If you go for "Gramma" it could become "Gamma" or "Amma". In other words, the baby will name you. I knew a man who would poke his finger at his grandchild and say "Pokey, pokey!" and for the first few years of those children's lives they called him "Pokey, pokey."
All that aside, it's useful to have different names for the two sets of grandparents so if one uses "Granny and Grandad" the other could be "Grandma and Grandpa" - or Opa and Oma, or whatever else you like. Asking grandchildren to call you by your first name is an accepteble alternative, especially if your children do that already.
In all this naming, the main issue is that you should be yourselves, love them and don't "expect" anything from them.
They don't belong to you, in fact they don't belong to anyone, but they are the responsibility of your children and if it suits them to give you any particular name, just accept it gracefully.
Main thing is to enjoy the relationship and don't do anything to spoil it. Don't let grandparenting take over your life. You'll be a much more interesting grandparent if you keep up with your own interesting activities, making time for the babies whenever you can manage it among other things.
And a final word to the wise grandparent-to-be: Your children might appreciate your help from time to time but this is THEIR family and they shouldn't become dependent on your assistance. You must feel free to take off and do your own thing at this time in your life. You've earned it.
Truly yours.
GG
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