|
Return to Granny's Query index
Granny's Advice By Rosaleen Dickson, BA, MJ
- Dear Great Granny.
-
I have become acquainted with a gentleman online. We have been communicating for almost 9 months now. About 3 weeks ago we met for the first time. We got along very well. Now for my question.
About a week after our visit he wrote me a letter saying he had discovered I had been lying to him. This was all based on my joining a couple of email groups. We would talk in chat about the things I had gotten from them. This all turned into an angry letter saying that I told him I had posted a certain amount of things to the groups and he knew that wasn't true. From there he accused me of wanting to find other men to write to. As it turns out he went to my membership at one of the groups, entered my name and password and went looking to see what I had been doing there.
I got very angry and said he was on a witch hunt. I think he has even gone to my hotmail and yahoo e-mail and been
reading my mail. He eventually apologized but has never given me a reason for doing that. We have an ongoing problem with the amount of time I spend with him in chat and the amount of time I spend on the web doing other
things. I think he is trying to control me.
So my question is, does this sound like a control issue, a jealousy issue, insecurity or what? And, if he has this attitude about the web what would it be like in real life?
I should add that I work approximately 9 hours a day. He is disabled and does not work. We are both in our early 50s.
Thank You
- Dear friend
-
The Web IS real life. It is another aid to communication, that's all. Just like the telephone and the post office.
What a person is on the Web, is what they are. Period. If you have been dishonest and he has gone to amazing lengths to find out what you're up to, then you have to accept eachother or not. Having gone through all this unpleasantness, and knowing that you can't put anything over on this clever man, you now have two choices.
Either drop him entirely and find another person who is less likely to be suspicious of your Internet involvements, or
forgive him his curiosity, ask him to forgive your dishonesty, and reopen your previous friendship.
If you choose the latter though, be aware that he might become angry and suspicious again, so you should resolve to be entirely candid with him from now on, if that is possible.
Many firm friendships have started on the Internet. I hope you are lucky with this one.
Truly yours,
GG
Return to Granny's Query index
|
