What a sad, dysfunctional family that is. Although you think that the disposition of the father's house and estate is what has torn the family apart, on second thought I'm sure you will realize that it was not a tight-knit family in the first place.
The brother who never came around was probably staying away for a good reason. The sister who owns the house came in regularly to check up on her property I suppose, and she will know what is there for her to inherit. Seeing a lawyer would probably not help your cause because the will most likely stipulates that the house and contents belong to her.
You and your husband have had use of the house for ten years and it is not surprising that you would think of it as yours, but I'm sure that you have always known that it was not going to be yours after your father in law died. Now you have to find your own home and I would think that you would feel good about that. After ten years living with an elderly gentleman must have been slightly inhibiting for you and your husband.
Starting fresh with a new home which is going to be your own, with no strings attached, and just the two of you, could be a wonderful adventure. As for the things that your father in law gave you during his lifetime, if your sister in law claims them you might as well give in to her greediness. Things have obviously gone too far already for there to be much of a friendly relationship between you and her. I wish you could move out gracefully, set up home elsewhere, start your new life with enthusiasm, and still remain on speaking terms with her.
Your best gift to your husband would be to get on with the move and the change and never even discuss his sister, or any family affairs. Get into something entirely new and different, and as you meet people don't ever mention how disgracefully selfish your sister in law has been. You looked after your father in law for ten years, he died, you moved out, and that's that. No need to drag the unpleasant part of the story out in public.
Your husband won't have a heart attack if you can divert his attention to pleasant things and never complain about the things you've had to leave behind in that house. Whatever they were, they can't be important enough to lose your husband over.
Out of sight out of mind. Move out and get on with the rest of your life.
Good luck.
GG
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