My daughter just had a baby boy, and her in-laws want the baby when he gets older to call them- honey, and papa just like their own daughters kids do. The problem is my daughter and her husband don't mind papa, but think honey
is stupid. The in-laws were being quiet, and trying to give the kids a guilt trip. So my son-inlaw said maybe we should have the baby call them honey, and papa. my daughter says NO. ( Not in front of the other people) Her husband
then says what will he call them? Our daughter called each of her grandparents, grandma, and grandpa, then their last initial. grandma & grandpa G and so forth.
Is there a solution? I think the other g- parents want to be treated as if they are more special than we are. They haven't even suggested they would go ahead and be grandma & grandpa. They're waiting for the kids to give in it seems.What do you think about this? Thank-you....
I think you should do nothing about this whatsoever. That little boy is going to have a very hard time with his
grandparents if you go about thinking of which is going to be treated "more special" than the others, so just stay right out of the whole affair.
You might be Grandma "X" and Grandad "Y", or Granny and Grandad, or Opa and Oma, or whatever you want, and the
relationship between you and your grandson will be normal. Love him and be nice to his parents, but don't expect that baby to become yours, even if the other grandparents have some inordinate expectations. The baby "belongs" to nobody but himself, but your daughter and her husband have been trusted with his care until he can look out for himeself. You are only interested bystanders.
"Honey" does sound strange for a grandmother, but then who cares? To keep peace in the family and avoid dispute, you should not only ignore the whole "Honey and Papa" issue but never even discuss it with anyone, and be sure never to let anyone see you smile, or smirk, or wince, when you hear those words.
If there is a disagreement between your daughter and her husband about those names, let it be THEIR disagreement. Your daughter will handle it the way she knows is best for her and her husband. No matter what they decide, it has nothing to do with you.
Life provides enough real problems for us to solve, that we must solve ourselves, but please don't go looking for other people's dilemmas to worry about. Nothing but grief will follow if you continue to wonder about what your grandson is going to call his other grandparents. And, in the end, probably he will come up with something else entirely - something he can pronounce. And if they want to make an issue of it and insist on teaching him to say Honey and
Poppa, well, I repeat, who cares?
Whatever feelings that baby has for any of his grandparents, or anyone else in his life, will have nothing to do with the name he has for them. And for goodness sake don't turn his life into confusion by battling his other grandparents for attention.
Be your own loving selves. Don't interfer. Your daughter will appreciate you, just as you are.
Truly yours,
GG
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