My Granny is 87 years old and is doing great for her age, she still drives to the store, and she likes to go to the local casino to see her friends. The problem is she is trying to clean out her house. She wants to get rid of a lot of her clutter in her house, because she wants to have some work done on it. The problem is that she will not let anyone help her. I want to help her move things that may be too heavy for her, but she will not let me or my Mom help her. She thinks she is bothering us. I tell her over and over that she is not bothering us. I am scared she might hurt herself. She fell and hurt herself last time, trying to move her kitchen table. My kids and myself usually go clean her yard every other weekend, but we have to wait until she leaves. My Mom usually goes to the casino with her.
Do you have any suggestions or ideas on how we can help out our Granny, before she hurts herself again?
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
Grand Daughter & Great Grandkids
What a lovely person you are. And what a grand lady your grandmother is. I can sympathize with her wholeheartedly. She does not want anyone making decisions about what to keep and what to pitch, and she knows that if anyone of you are there helping her, you will also have opinions.
Tidying up a lifelong collection of "things" and trying to clear out unnecessary "junk" is one of the biggest worries that old people have. It's such a big responsibility. Things you don't need might seem to be heirlooms to future generations. Things you cherish might look like trash to them. There's no clear distinction. Lots of us old folks just keep everything and figure the "children" can have the chore of deciding, later.
I've gone through that "cleaning up arterwards" four time already, with my parents and in-laws, and it was a huge chore. But at least they didn't have to do it. All those difficult decisions didn't ruin their last days, or years, for that matter.
Now it's my turn. I intend to leave all kinds of stuff in my home for my offspring to deal with. Let your grandmother do the same. Leave her with her privacy and just trust that she won't hurt herself again. You could lift boxes off high shelves, because falling off a step ladder or a chair is a common accident among the elderly. But don't comment on what's in those boxes. She doesn't need to be told how valuable, or how useless her collected items are.
Keep telling her that if and when she needs a hand, you are ready to help, but make sure she knows you're not there to make any decisions, just do the heavy lifting. And if she does get around to having the repairs done, you could offer to go back and replace the cartons, books, clothing or whatever has been moved around.
For whatever it's worth, that's my suggestion.
Truly yours,
GG
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