When is it ever right to cut one's mother out of one's life? I won't go into what sort of problems I have with my mother (most of my problems are rather typical), but every advice column always sides with the Mother, as though just giving birth makes her right. So, saving you a novel to read, may I simply ask what a mother must do before a child can finally, with good reason, say "that's it".
Anonymous
P.S. Don't ask me to "communicate" with her please, because she doesn't do that. I've tried.
I think I get the picture, and the answer is never. You cannot cut your mother out of your life, but what you CAN do
is to manage without any communication.
The reason I say you can't cut her out is because she is already a large part of you. You would not be the person you are except for her. Obviously, you are a part of her, but also she was the major influence on your childhood.
Now that you and she have parted, and you have no further contact with her, you must just get on with your life without
her. There's no reason why you should communicate. You don't need her advice and you don't need her help.
A time may come when she needs your help. By then you will be much older and will have matured and have experienced enough of life to know that you can't carry a grudge forever. When she needs you, I'm sure you'll come to her aid and do whatever you can for her, just as she did for you when you needed her.
In the meantime, live happily without her. It's not a matter or "cutting her out" - but just living your own life without her.
Don't make an issue of it. Don't announce that you are cutting her out. Just let time pass without contact and let it all
happen without a revolution. You are too old to be having a tantrum to get attention, so be as quiet and peaceful as
possible with your decision. Making an issue of it would serve no purpose but to give everyone a headache.
Good luck.
GG
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