Two months ago I asked you about my mother in law. She has 11 children and a husband that treat her as a queen. She is very strong and very opinionated, and my complaint was that she treated me as a second class
citizen.
She has 3 children over 28 years old unmarried, and 4 divorced already. They are extremely close to each other, and they love very much each other, but they are very difficult, because nobody is allowed in the family but the family,
and I don't know how, but they always get their way. People that don't do what they want, is " discarded ".
They seem to be very nice, and they are, but if you do what they say.
My question is: Do you think it could be a relation in this behavior and the fact that one son in law and 2 daughters in
law ( myself is one ), had developed some kind of mental disorders, like paranoia and depresion among other problems?
I was the first one to develop this problems, but it is funny to see my sister and brother in law having more or less the same simptoms. ( We all came from other countries, but only the in laws are having problems )
Thank you very much. I apreciatte your attention.
Yes, you are right. The attitude of that family towards the spouses of their children could certainly be contributing
towards their mental problems.
Knowing this, you should be able to do something about it. You can rise above the exclusiveness of that family and try to be your own self. You are an important person in your own right. There is nothing the matter with you, just because some people seem to think your opinion isn't worthy. It's your opinion and you can take care of your own self and those you love.
Can you stay away from that family as much as possible? If you and your husband just keep to yourselves and don't keep going back to his parents home except at very rare occasions, you'd be able to feel more independent.
And don't worry about the others. They will each have to solve their own problems. Just stay away as much as you can and get your own little family going strong. Your mother in law might think she knows best, but perhaps she doesn't. If you feel paranoid, that's too bad. You could go to a psychiatrist and talk about it a lot, or you could forget it and get on with enjoying your own life. Do things the way you want to. Trust yourself.
Good luck,
GG
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