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Granny's Advice By Rosaleen Dickson, BA, MJ
- Dear Great Granny.
-
My husband and I have been married for seven wonderful years. We have a two-year old son, we adore. He works at home and I am a stay-at-home mother.
He is a great husband, father and person. But he likes to look at porn on the Internet and it drives me crazy. I feel insecure when he looks at it.
This has happened once before, after our son was born. (Well, honestly I don't know much about my husband's
porn habits, but I have only seen it twice.) I probably should not make a big deal about this, but it really bothers me.
We talk about everything else that bothers us. What do I do?
I look forward to your advice. Thank you!
- Dear bothered,
-
You are absolutely right, you should not make a big deal about this. In fact it's a non issue. On the internet there are lewd pictures of all sorts. Look at them sometime. They are ludicrous. If your husband enjoys finding them, so what!
If it makes you feel insecure that's only because you think he is comparing you to the fancy ladies who flaunt their naked bodies for all the world to see. Well, he isn't. Everyone knows that those pictures are mostly fake. Ask him to show you some of the male models that pose for porn on the internet. It's to laugh.
If sitting in front the computer for hours at a time gazing at pornographic pictures is taking him away from his work, then you have a real complaint. It would be the same if he was spending all his time gambling online, or playing solitaire or getting involved in a chat room. There are lots of temptations on the internet, just as there are everywhere in this world. When TV came into everyone's homes for the first time, lots of folk got hooked on watching and lots of time was wasted. Even now some men get so involved in sports on TV that they never have time for even a game of ping pong with their own children.
But that's all beside the point. If you want your husband back from his porn world on the internet I suggest you join him there and then you can come back together. There's nothing to be embarrassed about - it's just a lot of anatomy - wanting to see it is not abnormal. It's there, so people want to see it. When you see what's involved, you won't worry so much about your husband. Also - he will lose interest faster if you join him. You'll be surprised.
Be thankful that his new interest keeps him at home and isn't drawing him across town, or out of town altogether!
Yours truly,
GG
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