Hi, I am in a particularly stressful situation. My in-laws are around 60 years old. They have four sons, one of which I am married to (the youngest).
Me and my husband are very much in love. I was previously married and had two children from that marriage. My husband had never been married. We now have two children of our own (four total). I am a stay at home mother. I am very close to my mother and she absolutely loves her grandchildren.
My mother was unable to be at home with me and my sister when we were growing up because she was a single parent and had to work 2 and 3 jobs to support us. Now, she enjoys spending as much time as we allow her with the
grandkids. She will drive up to our home (which is an hour away) and take the grandkids home with her for two and three days at a time. The kids absolutely love going there and they have become very close with their grandma.
In all honesty I don't mind the break and it allows me time to myself and time alone with my husband. The problem, is my mother and father in-law think its absolutely wrong and are very upset that we allow them to go to my mothers
house. They have NEVER had the kids overnight and do not allow them to come over. We live one block away from them.
I am just wondering your thoughts on this. They are making nasty comments to the rest of the family members
about our lack of parenting skills and I don't know if I should confront them or let it be? Please give me your take on this.
kindly .....
Your family is your responsibility. You have decided, and rightly so, that the children benefit greatly from being with their grandmother and that's where they should be, whenever and for however long as you wish them to be.
The benefit to your mother is tremendous too. You would not believe how many letters I receive from grandparents who miss being with their grandchildren and resent not having access to them whenever they want.
As for your inlaws, well - it seems that if they would like the pleasure of the company of your children they have every chance to invite them over, or to come and visit with them. I'm sure you are not keeping them apart; it's all up to your husband's parents. They complain about the children being with their other grandmother, of course. They are jealous of what they see as favouritism. Actually, it's just the convenience of the situation, not a matter of choosing one grandparent over the others. I know that and you know that, and maybe your inlaws know that too, but they are acting like children themselves when they try to persuade you not to let the children go with your mother.
Calling you bad parents is just a ploy. If indeed they are saying that to outsiders, that's their problem. Don't pay any
attention. If you think they are giving you a bad name in the neighbourhood, saying you are not doing things right, please ignore that altogether. Your children's behaviour in public will demonstrate they are being brought up correctly.
Go right on doing your best. Do nothing to spoil the beautiful relationship the children have with their grandmother. Don't listen to gossip. And try to make your inlaws feel comfortable around your children.
Sincerely yours,
GG
Return to Granny's Query index
