I don't agree with some of your views on grandparents. What if you are
worried about a grandparent and they did not raise the man you
married right. What if there was abuse towards him growing up.
I am in
that situation now and my 2 month old was hospitalized for this abuse,
caused by his father. My son is now 2 1/2 and I do supervised visits
with his father and grandparents. The father is in counseling and doing
pretty good, as far as my x in laws they are bringing me to court for
grandparents rights.
I am fighting with every breath in my body. Nobody
will have my son unsupervised, unless they earn my trust. In my case my
mother in law ruined my marriage, and now is trying to control me by
getting her way with my son. Her son, my x husband will forever be in
counseling because of her.
I'd like to know what you think of my case is
all.
Thanks
Mother of two
What I think is of no consequence, particularly since you do not agree
with my views anyway. But even if you did value my opinions, they are
not importrant. All that is important is your own feeling towards the
people you have to deal with, regarding your children.
Apparently the courts have dealt with the abuse perpetrated by your
husband on your child. That's a good sign. Now your child's grandparents
want to be a part of his life, and that's probably a good thing too.
Understanding one's family members can be helpful to understanding one's
self, so through time it will be wise to let the children know their
grandparents.
But giving small children into the unsupervised care of people you don't
trust, well, that's out of the question. Keep on maintaining your right
to be in control of your own children. If there indeed was abuse of your
ex-husband, by his parents, put all the facts before the courts who are
trying to make decisions regarding your children. If the case drags on
long enough, the children will be old enough to fend for themselves, but
while they are young it's up to you, and you seem to have the strength
and the will to stay the course.
For the benefit of the children you would be doing them a great service
if you could refrain from dwelling on the misdeeds of their father, and
grandmother. After all, they will soon realize that they are children of
those people and it won't help their self esteem to think they are all
evil. There must be some good features of those people; try to let the
children know about those good things and don't even discuss the bad
sides of their characters.
Although you are fighting for their rights, and for your own right to
raise them safely, remember that those children are not your
possessions. They are merely in your care, until they are old enough to
care for themselves.
After all the trouble you have had to maintain them and the strong
protectiveness you feel towards them, I'm sure you'll provide them with
a wonderful childhood and they will grow up to be good people. That's
all a mother wants, isn't it, and you seem to be on the road to success.
Truly yours,
GG
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