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Granny's Advice By Rosaleen Dickson, BA, MJ
- Dear Great Granny.
-
I WAS going to be a Grandmother for the FIRST TIME, one year ago. I was
very excited and looking forward to all the wonderful things that
Grandmas' get to do with their grandchildren.
Then, out of the blue, my daughter & father of the baby decided to give
the baby up for ADOPTION! You can imagine how devastated I was, nothing
I said or did would change their mind. It happened......and there was
NOTHING that I could do about it. I contacted every agency, help
groups, religious, adoption, law enforcements and so on....and so
on..... despite my pleas, tears & heartache each inquiry said the same
thing, "there was nothing that I could do about it" because she was not
a minor. Wasn't there any way that I, the Grandmother could....
somehow...someway, be able to arrange for one little picture or note in
the future letting me know the baby was well and happy?? No, no way to
do it. Just alot of dead ends and brick walls.
There are no Words to express the heartache of having my first
grandchild given away, and to know that I will never know him, see him
or touch him. I don't know what happened, our daughter was raised in a
loving home with Christian values. I asked myself why did this happen?
Why are "today's children" so unfeeling?
I had to tell the story so that you would fully understand my question
to you Great-Granny; which is: "Why don't grandparents have any rights?"
These babies are our flesh and blood too. If there is anyone out there
who knows or a support group or agandy that will help me, please, please
send me the information. Thank you for listening.
- Dear flustered grandparent,
-
The question of grandparents' rights has been argued in the House of
Parliament of Canada, and possibly also in the House of Representatives
of the United States. There are provincial organizations working on
proposed legislation to give grandparents rights, and if there is no
such group in your neighbourhood, I guess it's time you got one going.
A letter to the editor of your local paper could be a starting point.
Ask anyone interested in this cause to contact you and then call a
meeting. Invite your local politician. It could be a municipal
councillor or a senator - no matter - just try to persuade someone who
is supposed to speak for you to do that, in whatever goverenmental
assembly he or she sits. Grandparents' rights is a worthy cause.
Make sure your spokesmen are able to express the purpose of your
meetings well. Don't let them become nasty sessions where everyone is
criticising the "powers that be" for not having done what they should be
doing. The last thing you need is a bunch or screaming grannies making
everyone feel uncomfortable.
If you approach the entire situation on an even, sensible, logical and
friendly level, you will be heard. So choose your spokesmen carefully.
Anger will get you nowhere. Intelligant approach to the problem will win
the day. Eventually, if enough politicians can be made to see the need
for such legislation, it will become law; then when young people abandon
their children, or neglect them, or carry them beyond reach of their
natural grandparents, there will be some legal access for these
grandparents.
It's only a matter of time before this will happen. Perhaps you will be
one of those who help it happen.
As for this little one who is being given up for adoption; you will
surely recognize that since his own parents didn't feel able to look
after him, he will be well cared for by his adoptive parents. Millions
of adopted children around the world live happy, useful lives with the
parents who have chosen them. Take comfort and be happy for the child,
even though you are sorry for yourself.
Good luck.
GG
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